omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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