Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
