he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
