Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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