fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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