So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
That reminds me...we need to get swords
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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