Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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