I smell stomach acid.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Randomize
