I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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