get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I looked at my own cervix.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
