thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm determined to sit on that face.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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