Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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