yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
It's Friday. Sex?
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
