You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize