Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
