last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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