I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
a search helicopter?!
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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