at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
