he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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