Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
