alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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