when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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