I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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