Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
