whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
