I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize