yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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