i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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