A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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