I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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