how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
There r osticjed everywhere
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Pants are for mortals
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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