Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Randomize
