I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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