I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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