my sisters under your porch take her home
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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