so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
