everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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