I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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