i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
