Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize