I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Just high enough for therapy.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
