i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
