Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
