I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
