oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Pooping to opera.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
