that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
there was a trapeze. enough said
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
