You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize