the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
