Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
