yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
