Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Randomize
