your parents love me but you hate me
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
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