epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
