You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
