we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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