new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Randomize
