hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
