there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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