Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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