So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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