I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
well you can't waste a boner
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
